Keep Holding On
by brittdallas
Summary: The war between good and evil is raging on as Harry's mind and heart are fighting a losing battle with each other. HG and RH. Review please!
1. Chapter 1

Harry was pacing the floor, waiting on Ron and Hermione to return from their short visit home. War was a lonely time and having his best friends and closest confidants away from him was wearing down on him. They had only been gone for two days and they had begged Harry to come with them. It had been seven long months since they had seen their families and Mrs. Weasley had downright demanded that they come home. Voldemort had disappeared over a month ago and the search was wearing thin on all of them.

Harry decided to sit down with a book and he rummaged through the stack that Hermione had left on the table. Everything was concerning the Dark Arts and dark magic, so Harry grabbed the only thing other than that, which was _Hogwarts: A History_. Hermione would have let out a smile from ear to ear at him, which was more than rare these days. He was barely on the second page when a loud pop cracked in the kitchen. Harry grabbed his wand and was about to blow the wall out when Ron appeared from around the corner.

"Bloody hell Ron," Harry sighed, as he tucked his wand back into his robes. Ron gave him a sorrowful look and sat down across from him.

"Hermione is still at the Burrow. Mum has done nothing but make a fuss about us all just coming home and leaving it be," Ron said, all the while rolling his eyes. His mother knew what was going on, but there was no chance she'd let them go without putting up a legendary Weasley fight. It was then that he noticed what Harry was reading.

"Harry, have you gone mad?" Ron gasped, with a look of mock horror. Harry let out a slight smile at this and Ron took comfort in knowing that Harry was at least trying to pull himself out of despair.

"No, Ron. There was nothing else to do and I just don't feel up to delving deeper into a mystery that already has my head spinning and people dropping around me," Harry said, his hardened expression returning.

"No one had died in a month Harry, at least not from attacks. They've gone into hiding and I, for one, say it's for the bloody best. The Malfoy's are gone and Bellatrix is locked up in Azkaban."

Harry's face remained still at the mention of Bellatrix. It had taken more courage and restraint than he had ever needed not to kill her on the spot. Instead, he bound her and watched as an Auror carried her back to Azkaban. The memory of her cursing Harry and everyone who wasn't under her Dark Lord was embedded in him forever. Ron noticed Harry's tightened grip on the book and spoke quickly, hoping to change the subject.

"Mum and Dad are a bit upset that you wouldn't come, but Charlie, Bill, and the twins said to give you their best," Ron said, hoping that the mention of family would brighten Harry's spirit. His friend's light had gone out weeks ago and Ron knew of nothing that would bring it back for good, except for this to all be over. Harry just nodded.

"I should go back and make sure Hermione is coming. She's been crying all day and spent most of the day with Mum. We'll be a few more hours," Ron said, not even rolling his eyes at Hermione's show of emotion. Harry once more nodded and Ron sighed as he stood and apparated back to the Burrow.

Harry gave up on reading the book and retired to his room, where he lied down and fell into a slumber quickly. He slept when there was no one else there to hear his screams. The nightmares he had been experiencing were only getting more intense and violent.

"_Is this what you can't live without?" Voldemort taunted him. Harry was watching Voldemort point his wand at a figure in the corner and it was only when he heard a small cry that he realized it was Ginny. Harry stepped forward, but Voldemort turned his wand on him quickly._

"_Don't touch her. I'll kill you," Harry said menacingly. Voldemort let out a low laugh at this._

"_You don't have it in you," Voldemort hissed. Harry had his wand pointed directly at Voldemort heart, or where it would have been in a man with one. Voldemort simply returned his wand's aim at Ginny._

"_Crucio" _

_Ginny's screams filled the room and he watch as she writhed on the floor. Harry felt something break inside him and at that moment he pointed his wand at Voldemort, and almost growled the words at him._

"_Avada Kedavra" _

A/N: Please tell me what you think. Honest critiques are welcome, as long as you actually have something constructive to say. Positive reviews work well too. :D


	2. Chapter 2

He never saw the jet of green light come, because Harry was being shaken awake. His eyes flew open and saw two beautiful bright brown one's staring back at him. The look of concern in them was immediate and Harry spat out an "I'm okay." Her concern turned to anger quickly.

"I show up and hear you screaming you bloody head off and sweating like a pig, all the while thrashing around on the bed and you're okay?" Ginny snapped. She instantly felt regret at her tone, but her resolve wasn't giving way. Things had been tense between them for months now and Ginny had quite enough of quietly complying with Harry's attitude.

"Ginny, I am fine. You shouldn't be here," Harry said, then stood and walked down the stairs.

"Haven't we had this conversation a thousand times before Harry? Really, it's getting old. What's he going to do me? He's hiding for a reason and you trying to keep me at the Burrow every day isn't going to do a damn thing to bring him out," Ginny said, following him closely.

Harry would have been shocked at Ginny's language, but his surprise at it had gone away quickly. Ginny wasn't the same person anymore. She had always been stubborn and strong, but both of those things had been magnified greatly in the past few months. Harry was quietly happy at that, but it also terrified him. She would go against a Death Eater in a second and not think twice about it. He stopped midway down the stairs and turned to her, his expression softening.

"We have had this conversation before and we'll have it again. Stop being so stubborn and go home where you belong," he said. His desire to touch her face and express his true emotions was strong, but as with everything else, he held back.

"I don't belong at home and you know it," Ginny said quietly, but sure of her words. She didn't hesitate to reach out and she grazed his cheek with her hand. "I belong here with you."

"No...Ginny, just no," Harry said, his resolve weakening. He leaned slightly into her hand and she bent over and placed a kiss on his lips that sent what felt like fire rushing through his body. He pulled away quickly and continued the short trip down the stairs. He turned, waiting on her to reply.

Ginny just shook her head and with a loud pop she was gone. Harry sat on the last step and wondered when, if ever, he'd be able to kiss her every day and be with her. Memories of his dream flashed before him and he quickly pushed his wants aside. There were things to be done and nothing could change between him and Ginny before they happened.

Two loud pops sounded seconds later and Hermione and Ron appeared before him. Ron mumbled a quiet "hello" before passing Harry and going up the stairs.

Hermione sat down next to Harry and there they sat in silence in what could have been hours. Hermione had become drawn into herself lately and Ron spent most of their time together trying to get her to open up. It was nice to just sit and not have to say a thing.

Night eventually fell and Hermione headed off to the kitchen to cook. Harry was sitting quietly in the living room when there was another pop and this time Harry jumped quickly, wand at hand. No one except himself, Hermione, or Ron apparated into the house after dark. Almost no one in the wizard community left home after dark anymore anyway. Bill quickly sputtered something about not blasting him back to the Burrow so that Harry wouldn't start casting spells and curses.

"Harry, we have a problem. Voldemort has been spotted," Bill stated.

"Where?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Bill said, sitting down as if he hadn't just delivered life changing news. By this time, Ron and Hermione had come in.

"Just spit it out already Bill," Ron said, throwing on his robes.

"Harry, tell me...what have you heard from the Dursley's lately?" Bill asked.

"Not a bloody thing and you know it," Harry said, turning red. If Voldemort was running loose amongst Muggles, things were about to get very ugly.

"They disappeared several weeks ago according to some of our sources."

"Why wasn't I informed?" Harry asked loudly.

"We weren't sure if they left out of their own free will or if it was something else entirely," Bill stated. Hermione's eyes were blazing and she knew the implications. If Voldemort was around Muggles, he could very well go after her parents.

"I'm assuming you've figured out what is what then? Tell me where Voldemort was seen," Harry said, walking over to Ron and Hermione.

"Apparently, your uncle has returned home, without his son or his wife. Several of our spies have been watching and he's had some rather unique visitors as of late," Bill said, watching as the pieces began to fall into place for the three young warriors.

"Voldemort would surely not be visiting Uncle Vernon. He would die before he allowed a wizard to live there as a guest," Harry said, but Hermione was already headed to the kitchen to cut eyes and other things off in their muggle home.

"He isn't visiting Harry. I'm afraid your uncle is dead." Harry showed no emotion at this.

"Then who is there?" Ron asked, tired of Bill's silly game.

"It appears as though Voldemort has been masquerading as Vernon for weeks now. We still have no idea where Petunia and Dudley are or if they are even alive," Bill said.

"I'm going to finish this," Harry said and was about to leave before Bill spoke.

"You can't. Harry, there are muggles everywhere in that neighborhood. It's no telling how many will die before you can even get to him. His company has included known Death Eaters that are actually residing in the house."

"Why the hell isn't the Ministry doing anything about this?" Harry asked, angry that Bill had a point.

"They refuse to get involved. The risk of exposure is too great to the magical community according to them," Bill said, obviously disgusted with this.

"Too great of a damn risk? Have they lost their minds?" Ron was almost yelling now. They knew where he was and this could be finished. The only thing holding them all back was the risk of muggles getting injured or worse, killed.

"Listen, you needed to know this. I am asking you not to proceed just yet. Voldemort doesn't know that we are on to all of this and has continued as normal. You three should meet with us tomorrow at the Burrow. Tonks and Lupin will be there and we can go over some things," Bill said. With that, he left.

"How the bloody hell does he expect us to not do anything?" Ron asked, pacing the floor.

"I don't have an answer to that," Harry said. He turned and went straight to his room, where he lay in bed. Sleep would not come, so he lay there thinking of how utterly pissed off he was at the world for all that had befallen him. His parents were dead. Dumbledore was dead. His friends were shells of their former selves. Ginny needed to be pushed away and denied her happiness. The list grew longer and longer in his brain, before Harry finally decided enough was enough. He was going after Voldemort tonight, orders be damned.


End file.
